Less

Freddy once tried to define Less in a single sentence, suggesting that Arthur Less is “bravest person I know” (37). Less thinks of this whenever he boards a flight, and the flight is always ruined as a result. The plane to Mexico experiences turbulence, and the young Japanese tourist beside Less grabs his hand. The plane lands and Less is met by Arturo, a local writer who will be Less’s escort for the next three days. Arturo welcomes Less to Mexico, assuming that it is Less’s first time in the country. Less worries that the man is a poet. He thinks about the school of artists to which Robert belonged, the Russian River School. Less arrived too late for the collection’s years of decadence; they were always kind to Less, though he scandalously stole Robert away from his wife. Most are now dead, though Robert is still alive yet very sick in a facility in Sonoma. The drive to the hotel is long. Less is introduced to the excitable hotel owner, a fan of Robert’s work. Arturo regretfully explains to Less that the entire festival will be in Spanish, and he will not be needed until the third day. Arturo offers to show Less the city instead.

The next morning Less meets the festival organizer. Harold Van Dervander is an American man in his sixties who quotes lines from a poet Less does not know. He explains that the festival is hosted in Mexico due to the low price of local medicine. Van Dervander accompanies Less and Arturo, as he also does not speak Spanish. Less recalls his first trip to Mexico, which he does not care to mention. Nearly 30 years ago Robert surprised him with a sudden trip south of the border in a beat-up BMW and a bag of marijuana and mescaline. They spent a weekend in a seaside hotel, and Less was so smitten that he never thought to ask Robert about his wife. He grew so used to secrecy that he never mentions the trip to anyone.

Arturo leads them on the subway, and they emerge into a city that reminds Less of Madrid. They tour the market, led by a woman in a black dress who feeds them local delicacies from the stalls. As they walk, Van Dervander inquires about Robert, asking what it was like to know a genius. The tour group tries increasingly spicy foods, and Less embarrasses himself by using an accidental double-entendre.

Less thinks back on a ring, given to him by Robert, which signified an unofficial marriage between the two. At the time Less was far from monogamous. Shortly after Less ended one particularly intense affair, he lost his ring in a grocery store. People helped him search for it but to no avail. Less panicked over the symbolic meaning of the loss and then found the ring, gleefully telling Robert about the incident over dinner.

The Mexican subway is busier on the ride back to the hotel. Before he can retire to his room, Arturo insists that Less try mescal, a type of drink taken with an orange slice coated in toasted worms. As they get drunk, Arturo offers to take Less to Teotihuacan the next day. Less accepts without knowing anything about it. Then, he learns that his event includes a conversation with Marian Brownburn, Robert’s ex-wife, whom he has not seen in 30 years. Less returns to the hotel drunk, stinking “of smoke and worms” (50).

The next day Less awakes early. Arturo meets him, accompanied by two friends who do not speak English. They meet a history professor who will act as their tour guide, and they drive to the ancient ruins of Teotihuacan. They spend the morning climbing two pyramids, and the professor explains how little is known of the pre-Aztec peoples who built the structures. Less reflects on the time he spent living with Robert, who has all the curious habits of a poet. He recalls the perpetual sense of doubt and the occasional delight of luck.

On Less’s third day in Mexico he attends the festival. As he anxiously waits, he is told that Marian is not coming. She has broken her hip. The event will be an improvised discussion between Less and Van Dervander. Less remembers a time—aged 21—when he sat on a beach on a hot day and lied to a middle-aged woman about his age. It was 1987 and, despite the fun being had on the beach, many people were terrified by the AIDS crisis. The woman’s husband sat up and announced that he was going into the sea. She asked Less to accompany him, introducing herself as Marian and her husband as Robert, “a great poet but a terrible swimmer” (56). By the next spring Less was living with Robert.

Less tries to focus on the event as he gets onstage, preparing for the hastily retitled Una Noche con Arthur Less.

Before departing for Italy Less purchases a selection of medicines from a Mexican pharmacy. This includes sleeping pills. He sits on the plane and takes one, the anxious memories of the previous night still echoing through his mind. When he wakes, the other passengers are asleep. He takes another pill and wakes up when breakfast is served onboard. The plane descends into Frankfurt, where Less has a short layover. Worried that he still feels the effects of the sedative, he takes an itinerary of the days ahead. There are numerous events leading up to the prize ceremony, and Less already knows that he has not won. He dreamily walks through the Frankfurt airport, searching for his terminal. He falls asleep and wakes up on a bus, surrounded by American businessmen. Hazily, he boards a plane and sleeps again. This time he wakes up in Italy. He exits the airport without any trouble, meets his driver, and falls asleep in the back of the car. Less has visited Italy on two occasions. Once when he was 12, on a family he barely remembers. Later he returned to Rome with Robert. Less wakes to see the countryside outside the car window. He realizes that he is in the wrong car and wonders what kind of person the car was intended for. He arrives at the luxurious Mondolce Golf Resort and is greeted by a beautiful woman who, to Less’s surprise, uses his correct name. He is in the right place.

Having arrived a day before the other prize finalists, Less has the hotel to himself. He uses the facilities and dines alone. He sits before a wood fire in his spacious room. With a set of rubber bands, he exercises in his room. He remembers one particularly hot summer from his youth in Delaware, when he played baseball at his parents’ insistence. Though he displayed no real talent for the sport, he was stuck out in right field and—one day—he caught a high, looping ball. The crowd cheered.

Less has only been up for a prize on one previous occasion. His agent informed him that the mysterious Wilde and Stein Literary Laurels were “something gay” (67), much to Robert’s consternation. Less was persuaded to attend, at a time after he and Robert had broken up. Less asked Freddy to accompany him as a date. At the award ceremony Less recognized no one. In this situation, Freddy came alive. He knew many names and introduced Less to them. A man delivered a speech, calling for the casting out of “the assimilationists, the ones who write the way straight people write” (68). The audience applauded wildly, and Less felt a sudden urge to leave. He was not the winner of the prize.

In Turin the shortlist is selected by an elderly commit, while the final jury is composed of 12 high school students. Less sees the teenagers around the hotel and is introduced to his fellow finalists. One is a younger Italian man with tattoos; the other three are older: Luisa, Alessandro, and Harry (though his real name is Finnish and unpronounceable). Less struggles to match the other writers with the synopses of their work. As Less talks to his fellow authors, they compliment his work. He replies that he does not think he stands a chance of winning. Less spots the man he knows has won, an Englishman named Fosters Lancett. Lancett asks for a cigarette. When Less says that he knows that Lancett has already won, Lancett walks away to smoke.

Over the next two days life in the hotel is spent in packs: the teenage jury, the elderly prize committee, and the finalists all keep to themselves. Only Lancett moves between them. Less, fearing judgment in the spa, returns to the forgotten exercise bands in his room. The schedule is busy, including lectures and interviews and a trip into the mountains. Then, they attend the prize ceremony. Less remembers attending the ceremony when Robert won the Pulitzer Prize. One of his friends advised Less never to win such a prize. If he does, she told him, then it is “all over” (72), and he will spend the rest of his days lecturing.

Less sits in the auditorium, watching the ceremony. Less drifts away, not understanding the Italian speeches. He feels as though he does not belong in this place. He worries that attending was a huge mistake, that his poorly received third book was mistranslated into Italian and imbued with undeserved genius. He remembers the lead up to his first prize ceremony, how he prepared with Freddy. He remembers the lunch before Robert’s Pulitzer award, when he ranted about the nature of the prize. He is so lost in his thoughts that he does not even hear his name called out. Less wins the prize.

Less calls his German publisher and—in broken German—tries to correct a typo regarding his date of birth. After so long in Italy, Less is relieved to be in a country where he believes that he can speak the language. He is also arriving in the country “on the winds of success” (78). Less began learning German at age nine. He remembers a German exchange student named Ludwig, who lived with Less’s family and with whom Less had a romantic fling. In Germany Less teaches a course named Read Like a Vampire, Write Like Frankenstein to 30 students. His German is error-strewn but confidently deployed.

The day before, Less met Hans, the man assigned to be his teaching assistant. Hans drives Less to the small university apartment where Less will live during his five-week course. The door is opened by an electronic fob that chirps like a bird. Hans returns later in the evening to take Less to dinner. In attempt to steam his shirts, Less sets off the fire alarm and endures an awkward conversation with the security guard, who fetches him an iron. Hans drives Less to a traditional German restaurant, where Hans’s friends are already seated. As the conversation continues around him, Less cannot help but think of Robert and of attending his mother’s funeral the previous year. He blurts out to the table, “you boys don’t know anything about death” (81) in perfect German and does not know why he said it. Bastian, one of Hans’s friends, insists on taking Less to a bar, and Less agrees to take a taxi home. He waves goodbye to Hans. But instead of going to the bar, they return to Bastian’s apartment. Less spends the night there. The next morning, however, Less struggles with the electronic fob. Worried about teaching his first class in his current state, he spies an open window, so he scales the building’s exterior. As he climbs higher, he wonders how the newspapers will report his inevitable death.

The aim of Less’s course is not necessarily to teach students about literature but to teach them “to love language again” (83). Through fun games and exercises they come to appreciate Less as a more relaxed alternative to their stress-filled university work. Less grows a beard and spends more time with Bastian in Berlin, even though they are not well-suited as lovers. One day Bastian falls sick, and Less cares for him. Bastian recovers. Bastian’s friends, he reveals, have dubbed Less “Peter Pen.” The nickname is a result of Less’s childlike German and his escapades climbing the dormitory wall. It is Bastian who suggests that Less grow a beard. Less is not aware that he is “no champion in bed” (86). His kiss and his touch, however, make up for his inadequacies. Less notices that Hans becomes increasingly morose. One day Hans faints in class. Soon, more people fall sick. Less worries and discusses the issue with Bastian, as well as his worries about an upcoming reading and Freddy’s imminent wedding.

The literary reading is held in a nightclub named Spy Club and begins at 11 p.m. Less cannot help but think this is a mistake. People are dressed as spies, even carrying fake guns. The American Less is introduced to his Soviet counterpart. At midnight the music will stop, and they will read to the crowd in alternating segments. Less thinks this is a plot to humiliate him. He is very aware that Freddy’s wedding is taking place at the same time. The lights come on and the music stops as Less is imagining the wedding. The crowd listens to him read from the German translation of his first novel; the unseen crowd stands silently in the dark. During his second segment, someone in the crowd faints. By the time the lights go up, three people have fainted. Less worries that he is boring people to death, killing people with his inferior German skills. He spies Bastian at the back of the club. When the music resumes, Bastian hands Less a pill. The rest of the evening is a blur. Less recalls himself dancing wildly to a Madonna song as people cheer for Peter Pan.

On Less’s last day in Germany he awakens to find “a wall erected between his five weeks in Berlin and reality” (93). Beside him, Bastian falls asleep again. Less packs, still in a daze. He makes himself coffee and realizes that Freddy must now be married. At the airport, Less’s publisher calls to tell him that the evening was a success. Though he is meant to head to Morocco, he does not.